Man Inappropriately Licks Family’s Doorbell For 3 Hours

Because Florida Man occasionally gets the urge to migrate (often due to outstanding warrants in his home state), this is a clip of California Man Roberto Daniel Arroyo inappropriately licking a Salinas family’s doorbell (not that there’s ever really any appropriate doorbell licking) over the course OF THREE HOURS. Drugs: they make you do things. “I think he’s in love.” I really hope not. I also really hope he just thought he was taking a tour of the lickable portion of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Continue reading

The Oscars Will Reportedly Have No Host This Year

The Oscars host debacle has come to a surprising end, it appears. After spending months looking for someone—anyone—who was willing to take on the thankless gig of hosting the biggest night in movies, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences selected Kevin Hart to host this year’s Oscars. 48 hours later, Hart stepped down from the gig after being given an ultimatum by the Academy: apologize for past homophobic remarks, or step aside. The tweets and jokes—which had been known for quite some time—gained new visibility in the wake of the hosting announcement, and …

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Alex Kurtzman Talks “Painful” ‘The Mummy’ Experience; Confirms He’s No Longer Involved in Dark Universe

Ah Dark Universe, we hardly knew ye. Universal Pictures spent years developing a series of reboots of their classic monsters under the direction of Star Trek and Transformers writer/producer Alex Kurtzman and Fast & Furious writer/producer Chris Morgan. The duo oversaw a writers room that developed scripts for movies based on Van Helsing, Wolfman, Bride of Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, and others, and Kurtzman was personally tending to The Mummy, which he would direct as the first Dark Universe movie. When it came time to release The Mummy, Universal even dropped an official fanfare logo for Dark Universe …

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Such Coordination: Guy Performs Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ Playing Two Acoustic Guitars Simultaneously

This is a video of musician Luca Stricagnoli (who appears to have vampire fingers on his right hand) playing two acoustic guitars simultaneously to perform Michael Jackson’s iconic ‘Thriller’ (previously: performing Iron Maiden on his reversed triple neck guitar). Impressive, but can he pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time LIKE THIS? “You just poked an eye and gave yourself a titty twister.” Hold on, hold on, I’m almost there. Continue reading

‘A Discovery of Witches’ Review: There’s More to It Than “Twilight for Grown-Ups”

There are a few lines delivered near the end of the A Discovery of Witches premiere that provide a nice, neat summary of the show’s premise: “Ashmole 782 has been missing for centuries, and yet you were able to call it up. Aren’t you curious why? That book has never appeared to me or anyone else, no matter what we’ve done. Only to you. It could be the key to our survival. So isn’t it strange that the only creature that can summon it is a witch who can’t control her magic?” That’s basically …

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Woman Drops Grenade In Virtual Reality, Makes A Run For It Straight Into A Fireplace In Reality Reality

This is a short video of a woman in virtual reality (anybody know what game that is?) who drops a grenade trying to throw it, and proceeds to run for cover in real life — straight into a stone fireplace. Obviously, whatever virtual hit points she avoided in grenade damage she almost certainly made up for in real life pain, and I hope this serves as an important lesson to everyone. “And what lesson would that be?” Always dive away from virtual grenades, never run. Continue reading