Presumably after learning a thing or two from his feline friends on the back of the school bus, this is a video of a puppy knocking a line of shampoo and soap bottles into the shower one-by-one. He looks pretty proud of himself, doesn’t it? He also looks like he has an adult dog head on a puppy body. Just don’t tell him that though or it might give him a complex. Wait — is that my deep cleansing pore scrub? Oh hell no. You look like two puzzle pieces that fit, dog! Also, is this considered a trick? Because my dogs knock stuff over all the time but I haven’t been giving them treats and now I’m feeling guilty.
This is a short video of Snetris, a Snake and Tetris mashup currently being developed by Portuguese crowdfunded minigame creator nyunesa. The concept is simple enough: you start off as a snake, and as soon as you eat the dot on the playfield you lock into the Tetris shape you’re currently in and fall. Fun! I mean sure it’s no Fortnite, but I also probably won’t get so angry playing that my mom threatens to change the Wi-Fi password. “I don’t understand what it with him and that game.” These people know how I feel about doing battle, mom, I have a reputation to uphold. “He’s never finished better than 82th place before.” Stop! “And he had to cheat to do that.” You’re killing me! “He’s been begging me to hire a Fortnite tutor.” AAAAAHHH AS;GDLAEWSN DFDFAS FESEW!11
These are two videos of 15-year old Kyra Poh’s winning indoor skydiving freestyle performance at the 2018 Wind Games in Empuriabrava, Spain. And speaking of wind games– “I’m not pulling your finger.” *BRRAAAAAAP!* My trigger is faulty anyways.
Keep going for the videos.
Thanks to Josh J, who informed me he’s tried going indoor skydiving multiple times but has always been deemed too drunk by the staff. Welcome to my life.
This is some dashcam footage from a mountain road in southwest China of a boulder absolutely obliterating the hood of an SUV before splintering a tree into toothpicks and continuing its way down the mountain. There are also a couple other boulders that follow, proving my theory that boulders are pack animals like wolves. Thankfully, there were no injuries in the incident, presumably because Death realized he had the wrong car at the very last second. No word who his intended target was, but I can only assume it was me. “But you’re nowhere near China.” I’m sorry, are we talking about the same Death here? Like the hitman and not the geographer professor, right? Jesus, he kills people for a living, he isn’t an undefeated Jeopardy constant.
This is the Hallmark Keepsake Star Wars Death Star Lighted Christmas Tree Topper. It costs around $100, lights up blue or red with green superlaser, and can play the Imperial March and classic Star Wars theme (lights and songs selected via included remote control). Cool I suppose, but $100 cool? Like the bunny slope at a ski resort, that sounds a little steep to me. I feel like this should be more of a $30 product. But what do I know? I’m just a man who’s been using the same Christmas tree topper since he was old enough to buy his own tree. “Is that a bra?” Classic, right? “Wait did you say classy or classic?” Well it’s both, obviously.
Because not perceiving a threat as a threat is how they’re gonna get us, this is a video of Boston Dynamics’ Spot quadruped robot dancing to Bruno Mars’ ‘Uptown Funk’. Now I’m not sure what that move it’s performing in the gif is called besides inappropriate. I’ve seen more family-friendly dancing at strip clubs before. Back me up, Brandi! “He’s always bringing his nephew in for the buffet.” It really is a great value.